A couple thoughts from the SBS Retreat last week. Tom Possin spoke and made a couple points I wanted to highlight. Speaking of Luke 13:32-34 (the parallel verse to my blog title) he said, "Love is an investment of ourselves in others." Another point he made is that we can't disconnect God from people.
Personally, I had just discovered from my own relationships that - My relationship with others mirrors my relationship with God and visa versa. My relationship with God mirrors my relationship with others. When I'm feeling distant and closed from others you can be certain that I'm also feeling distant from God. So how do I remedy that?
Which comes first? The chicken or the egg. I suspect that my relationship with God is always first, or should be. So if that's distant it stands to reason that other relationships would also feel distant.
As I thought about the 4 years in Montana, the relationships here and how that first year was the honeymoon year. Then came the season of loneliness and now just before I leave, I'm feeling as if there are growing friendships.
I will miss it here. I will miss living in community and the developing friendships. I will miss library and all the great books I wanted to read as I processed them. I will miss the seasons. Yes, even the snow.
Henri Nouwen writes in his book In The Name Of Jesus, "Jesus has a different vision of maturity: It is the ability and willingness to be led where you would rather not go." I know it's time to go but I've been dragging my feet in this move. Doing just about anything to put off the sorting/packing until it becomes absolutely necessary.
I was thinking this through at the retreat sitting looking out over the lake down by the altar area. "Lay Lakeside on the altar" I thought. So I needed to find something that represented Montana to me. How about a pine cone. That will do. For the pine cone has beauty but it also has sharp points. There is beauty here but also the sharp points of my health, Dad' health, finances and those desert areas. Yes the pine cone will represent Montana well.
So taking it up to the altar I sat it in the middle; releasing Lakeside to the Lord. I went back again and picked it up. Isn't that what I keep doing. Giving it to God and then taking it back again. Bad me. Finally, I let go again, "Take it and use it to make what you want to of it in my life."
God's answer was a quiet "I will take care of it" as the sun began to set across the lake and red filled the sky around me and reflected across the lake. I walked away and left Lakeside in the hands of God who is much better than I at taking care of things.
Now just remind me not to go back and pick it up again.
Sherri
