There are times when I long for the work of God in my life once again and then there are the other times when it scares the socks off me to think what changes he would bring about in my heart and life once again.
Reading Peter Jordan's book, The Last Thing I'd Ever Do: My Family's Adventure into Faith and Missions, reminds me of those same tremulous steps I took almost 20 years ago, in the same place, Kona, Hawaii. I never, ever expected to be in missions but there I was. I did not lack for opportunities to trust God and what he was doing in my life while there. Often it was not easy, as I discovered my pride of "I've heard that before" or the loss of special and precious friends to God's calling be it to another country, home or to eternity or the mind numbing fatigue of living, working and sleeping in the same place.
But there were the times also when listening for God's voice was routine, knowing he would definitely speak, and not just a special occasion as I find now. When relying on God was a way of life, not just words spoken to sound pious. When living in community meant you gained many friends, sharing both strengths and weaknesses.
Sometimes I miss YWAM with it's blanket, it's cocoon of faith and trust, that is built into its DNA. The God stories that encourage me to reach beyond the comfortable. The cocoon is no more. God has not changed but I have. In some areas I've grown tender-hearted and in others hard hearted. Life pulls me in many, many directions. I find myself flitting from one thing to another trying to find the sustenance as the butterfly does with the flowers. Trying to hear the voice of God as it competes with the static of the world around me.
Yes, life is very different these days. But that is neither here nor there as God is everywhere; still speaking. I just need to now listen with a different set of ears that will filter out the white noise around me. July 8, 2014
