Someone made the statement, "I guess you weren't quite ready for it [the move to Arizona]." Is it possible to every be ready to care for an aging parent? To have the roles reversed and see them as the one dependent on you. Are you ever ready as a child to face the illnesses, falls, confusion and future death of a parent? Are you ever ready to be responsible for all their business, home and health issues and still handle your own?
I'm not sure I will ever be ready for what lies ahead but I am willing. Being willing and being ready are two very different things.
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines ready and willing as:
Ready = prepared mentally or physically for some experience or action
Willing = of or relating to the will or power of choosing
No, I am not ready for this responsibility but I have made a choice to care for Dad, and for this house because he desires to remain here.
It was time to return. Ready or Not.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Merry Christmas,
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... but since the snow is in Montana and I'm here in sunny, well almost sunny, Arizona it is only a dream. Temperature comparison of 56 (F) vs. 11 (F) today makes Arizona preferable at this time even if it's rainy and cloudy.
I have been her 2+ months but I am still not all unpacked and even less organized. I have not figured out where it is: the things I need are what I've left behind. Seems I'm always hunting for something these days. I either can't find it or I don't have it any longer.
I suspect that it is going to take me longer than the 3 months I had anticipated to adjust. Transition, I'm discovering is very hard work. After talking with some others who have done this before, I am now expecting for it to take more like a year to get into a routine.
This year of 2009 has been overwhelming with all the changes and decisions. I'm tired just thinking about it. I am looking forward to 2010 and staying put for a long time, re-learning homemaking skills that I have not had to use in recent years and finding some energy that ran out long ago. So far, I finding it difficult to keep up with the housework, Dad's doctor appointments and the holidays.
Dad and I had two Thanksgiving feasts this year; one on Veterans Day when friends invited us to their early Thanksgiving because their son was home on leave from the Army. The day before he presented the flag at the Mesa Senior Center and Dad was able to march in behind him with other veterans that were there that day. On Thanksgiving, we went to my friend's parent's home. Since we've known each other since 9th grade it's almost like family.
Dad has to put up with some new residents to our home... besides me. Since I'm allergic to most furry animals, I have found fish a wonderful substitute. Believe it or not, fish do have some great personalities. So I now have a small 5 gallon tank housing 5 tiny occupants.
I hope that this finds you celebrating with joy this Christmas season and with peace in your hearts throughout the New Year.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... but since the snow is in Montana and I'm here in sunny, well almost sunny, Arizona it is only a dream. Temperature comparison of 56 (F) vs. 11 (F) today makes Arizona preferable at this time even if it's rainy and cloudy.
I have been her 2+ months but I am still not all unpacked and even less organized. I have not figured out where it is: the things I need are what I've left behind. Seems I'm always hunting for something these days. I either can't find it or I don't have it any longer.
I suspect that it is going to take me longer than the 3 months I had anticipated to adjust. Transition, I'm discovering is very hard work. After talking with some others who have done this before, I am now expecting for it to take more like a year to get into a routine.
This year of 2009 has been overwhelming with all the changes and decisions. I'm tired just thinking about it. I am looking forward to 2010 and staying put for a long time, re-learning homemaking skills that I have not had to use in recent years and finding some energy that ran out long ago. So far, I finding it difficult to keep up with the housework, Dad's doctor appointments and the holidays.
Dad and I had two Thanksgiving feasts this year; one on Veterans Day when friends invited us to their early Thanksgiving because their son was home on leave from the Army. The day before he presented the flag at the Mesa Senior Center and Dad was able to march in behind him with other veterans that were there that day. On Thanksgiving, we went to my friend's parent's home. Since we've known each other since 9th grade it's almost like family.Dad has to put up with some new residents to our home... besides me. Since I'm allergic to most furry animals, I have found fish a wonderful substitute. Believe it or not, fish do have some great personalities. So I now have a small 5 gallon tank housing 5 tiny occupants.
I hope that this finds you celebrating with joy this Christmas season and with peace in your hearts throughout the New Year.
Wishing You And Yours A Very Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)