This year the focus has been the house, still. I’ve been gardening, landscaping and lately been in the painting mood.
September: It was time to plant the fall garden; broccoli, lettuce and green beans. (Summer garden did lousy.)
December: The beans and broccoli are doing great now. Picked the first crop of green beans. Yummy! The lettuce was eaten by worms so I spent a day killing about 30 of them. I replanted more lettuce and should now get a good harvest.
The last part of this year I have felt as if I’ve turned a corner in this Season of the Unexpected. Less frequent is the exhaustion, fear, anger, disorganization and anxiety. Funny, I have no problem organizing a friend’s house but find it difficult to tackle my own—but it’s coming.
I found a Grief Share group (griefshare.org) that’s been helpful in understanding that loss is a very individualized and complex process and doesn’t just go away when we want it to. A few thoughts from the DVD . . . I was prepared for caring for Dad, however I wasn’t prepared to lose him. Losing the second parent is often harder because of the sense of “aloneness”. Plus, the move with the subsequent job and support system loss also had it’s major effects.
Initiating activities is still a high energy activity that sometimes I can do or sometimes I can’t. I enjoy doing things with people but I’m learning to let go of expectations and go with the flow. I am involved in a number of things; a women’s Bible Study, a craft group, a missions prayer group, helping a friend weekly. This keeps me busy so that the days and weeks fly by.
I want to wish you a wonderful Christmas and New Year.