The question of the hour is: If I speak of feeling alone have I hurt God? Have I discredited his leading, his guiding and his direction in my life?
I’ve been pondering those questions for awhile now. Would God be surprised that I felt alone? Have I discredited him? I do believe that he guides me. I do believe that he directs me and leads me. I know he is with me every step of the way.
Feeling alone is an emotion of loss. I just realized that recently. Everyone handles loss differently. I feel most alone when I’m overwhelmed by a task, when I have lost someone or thing, or when I’m struggling with something be it physical, emotional or spiritual. Carrying those feelings in the darkness within me, not allowing them to see light by never talking about them is not healthy for me. Stuffing those emotions only leads me to shut down or react in anger. Yes, words do have power but so does bringing them into the light. Which will it be? Negative or positive?
Now back to the question of hurting God. Jesus cried out on the cross, “My God my God why have you forsaken me”. Did God feel hurt that Jesus said he was forsaken? Did Jesus wound him by stating this? I don’t think God felt offended or that felt Jesus was disrespectful. I think his response to Jesus would of been one of love, compassion and most likely. deep sorrow that his son had to experience this. If God felt this way with Jesus who is his son, would he not also feel this way toward me as his daughter? Would he discredit my feelings of aloneness?
God is all knowing and all loving and I think he understands when I feel alone at times. Voicing that aloneness does not discredit that he is active in my life any more than it did when Jesus cried out that he was forsaken. It is rather the voice of loss and sorrow. A voice that does not discredit God’s power but that is crying out for his help and healing. A voice that needs light to dispel darkness.
But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15
