Starting To Live

It was a novel, Healing Autumn’s Heart by Renee Andrews, about the grief of a father and his young daughter who when she lost her mother barely spoke anymore that started this contemplation with the line, 

• “it’s time for you to start living again”.

I could relate on many levels. I found I too had stopped “talking”. Not physically but spiritually. I stopped writing newsletters. I stopped sharing my heart.  I stopped writing this blog.  With no outlet to share life’s journey, the revelation of God’s working went dormant in my life. Seeing his hand in things, feeling his touch, his presence died in me.

Death is not always just the physical passing from this life to eternal life.  Death can be a draining of your emotions leaving you empty, dejected and in despair but still breathing.  

The sense of loss brought fear and anger. Afraid of more loss, I  found myself striking out with anger so my heart would no longer feel and I discovered that the anger kept me energized so I could make it through each day.  

However, I also discovered, you end up walking through each day without feeling life; without feeling the joy and happiness that brings hope to each day. You become buried alive beneath that weight of death and despair.

Yes, it’s time to start living again.

Yet how? This blog? What will be next?